i think i have herpe
just one?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
