Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
