paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
