someone owes me an orgasm
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
