There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
