You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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