Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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