My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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