she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
