May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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