How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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