We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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