True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize