lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
