Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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