Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
