She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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