I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
