I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
