We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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