He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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