you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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