Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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