I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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