I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
