I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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