I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
