Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
