I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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