Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We have started to decorate penises.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize