too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
