Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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