worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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