Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
