I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
