I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
