Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't deserve a penis
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
