The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
