so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
