Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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