Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
