I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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