Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
