AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize