think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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