yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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