I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
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there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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