He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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