dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate all girls vehemently.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
