I'm gonna have a badass scar
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
