hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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