Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i love accidental penises.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
