Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
