Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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