Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When are your genitals available?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
