How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
