Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize