How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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