I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize