haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
