On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
