Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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