I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
