i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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