We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
